Why You Aren't Getting What You Really Want Out of Life and How You Can

Are you tired, anxious and stressed? Never feeling refreshed after a night of rest? Do you experience worsening eyesight and moodiness, often leading to migraines and crankiness? Not showing the same excitement with your partner in life or the bedroom? Maybe even guilty thoughts that it’s all because of you? If this sounds true, then you know what to do. 

Contact your doctor today because you could be suffering from the chronic disease commonly known as ageing. With symptoms ranging anywhere from getting old and crusty to well just plain crusty. But wait! There’s more. Because we understand what it feels like to suffer from this near death experience of hitting life’s halfway mark and we’re here to help. Just call this number, take this pill and follow these simple, complex instructions where you’ll end up throwing in the towel and giving up on life because honey, after listening to us, God knows, we’ll make it seem like it’s already given up on you. And there ain’t nothin you can do.  

If this feels familiar, it’s because it probably is. The random and wide ranging signs that can hit at midlife, is written off as well, hitting midlife. But not everything is related to the recent growth of course, dark hairs on our chinny chin chin. Not, of course, that I would know...I heard it from a friend. Do I get the above symptoms from time to time? Yes. Some more than others. And often they can be explained through our lifestyle choices as much as anything else. If I don’t have a regular bedtime and keep erratic hours, surprise, I’m gonna be tired. If I have a lot of chaos and turmoil in my life, work and relationships, crazy enough, I might be stressed and bitchy. And if I’m glued to my electronics all day without regular breaks...it ain’t rocket science that I’m probably straining the crap out of my eyes. Low libido? Well, the whole It’s me not you. May not be true. It may, just be, that I need to kiss a few more frogs. Because my partner, he’s no prince. And he or she might not be doin it for me. 

So what’s the driving force? Your habits or your hormones? Well, good news, you can address both! That’s the sleeping beauty of it! I have fairy tales on the brain lately I swear. And you don’t have to identify with either, putting limitations on your idea of who you are and what you want to accomplish. You, me, we, are not our challenges. You have them. I have them. And I sure as hell don’t have to label myself based on what culture, a drug commercial, media or my doctor might slap on me. I choose how I define myself and the meaning I give what I’m going through, regardless of circumstances, season of life or environment. 

You can see how easy it can be to lump everything under that age old label (wink wink), identifying with it, yourself and your experiences. But, and this is gonna sound a little out there so bare with me, you are more than just a numba. Phhhh! I know, mind blown. And deep down,  we know that but we, okay me, can also hide behind it. Using it as an excuse for not doing the things I want to do.

Obviously, it’s not all rainbows and unicorns here at Casa De Bedford. I’m not perfect. It’s not perfect. I still struggle with not falling into the victim hood trap of that poor me mentality. And sometimes it seems like it would be so easy to, as Quote of the Day Host, Sean Croxton would say, walk around with my umbilical cord sticking out, just looking to plug in to anyone who would whisper sweet promises of a quick fix and an easy way out. I’ve tried it by the way, the hack’s, how to’s and quick fixes and none of it really works other than actually doing the hard work. But I’ll leave it up to you to decide what you want to do. Or, hmm, should I just tell you? Well I would but then I’d have to kill you. Because only you can be your own Guru! 

So when did we start looking to these all mighty powers that be? Thinking someone outside ourself has the answers we need? At what point did we stop listening to our inner mini me’s and go wow, I think this person can tell me how I feel. No longer standing up for what we believe, accepting whatever scraps they might try to feed. 

Maybe it’s what Kevian, one of the speakers in the upcoming interview, calls believing the lie. The lie that we aren’t enough. That we are somehow broken or incomplete and missing something, there’s someone out there, to fix what’s inside here. Chasing that next big thing, not out of love but out of fear. Fear that keeps us stuck in that quiet life of desperation, place. And in the words of SNL’s Stuart Smalley, from his show, Daily Affirmations, “I deserve good things, I am entitled to my share of happiness, I refuse to beat myself up, I am an attractive person, I am fun to be with and I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and doggone it, people like me!” Hilarious! 

What’s helped me? Honestly, throwing darts initially. Seeing what sticks and resonates with me. I wish I could say it was some strategic stroke of genius but I basically tried a bunch shit and stayed with what worked over the years. But this year. This has been my year of fear and putting myself out there. Consistently doing things that scare the crap out of me. Because there’s nothing like a day of swimming in shark infested water to get the blood pumping and the body ready...for anything. I’m telling you...I didn’t do that, just that, yeah, I’m sure there’s nothing like it. However, I was interviewed a few weeks back and that certainly left me with what I would think as a similar feeling. Because I was a nervous wreck! A sweat soaked, red faced, mind racing wreck. So much so that I honestly thought about doing the whole...You pshh, pshh, are cutting out pshh pshh on me pshh. But it was live and on video so I don’t think they would have bought it. And I made it through. I’m still here. Even after doubling down on what I fear. And now I have the confidence to keep pushing that boundary of possibility. 

So what are you putting off out of your own self imposed limitations and fear? What part of your identity is stopping or preventing you from getting there? And what needs to change to pull you through? Is there something small you can do to work toward what scares and excites you? Even if it’s to question or do some research on a thing you were told and then accepted as truth? Because maybe it’s less a question of what to do and more the reason behind why you’ve concluded it’s not for you. As the late, great, Wayne Dyer would say, “Don’t die with your music still in you.” Only you are the expert on you.  

And a quick FYI, our clip is a few minutes longer than the average 15. But It’s from a triple threat conversation that went 21/2 hours long and packed with so much awesomeness, it was difficult to stick to the usual amount of time. I still only went 61/2 minutes over but believe me, it’s well worth it.

Listen to the full conversation between these four men, Drama, Rob, Kevian and Tom in episode #100, The Superpod on the Short Story Long podcast. Links to that and all of their social media are in the show notes below. 

If you enjoyed today’s podcast please subscribe and share with someone you think might benefit and until next time, Thanks for listening.